Too often I catch myself fantasizing over materialistic things. Whether it be decor for my house, new photography equipment, clothes, furniture, electronics, stuff for Cheyanne, a new house.. the list could go on for ever. It's been proven several times that the fulfillment I feel only lasts momentarily. Unfortunately, that cycle may never end.
However, tonight I was reminded that if I had everything I ever wanted it wouldn't come close to how I feel when I have special moments with Cheyanne. Months ago when I would sit down with her and try to work with her on either reading or writing the majority of the time within minutes her head would be on the table and she'd be screaming "I can't do it, I can't do it, it's too hard!".
I remember walking into her daycare and passing through the cafeteria when a little boy asked me to help him with his math. The boy was about Cheyanne's age and the moment I pointed out his mistake it was as if a light when off in his head. I wanted more than anything to see that in Cheyanne, to see the excitement in her eyes when she figured out a problem she didn't understand. I felt guilty for every feeling I had while helping him.
Tonight while cooking dinner I finally pulled out the math book that her teacher sent home for her to do during summer break. It was as if I was working with a completely different child! She did five pages front and back, several addition problems on her own. Her excitement from solving a problem was overwhelming. I am so proud of how far this girl has come.
